• You can strip shower so efficiently that you have change leftover from one litre of water
  • your stomach is cast iron resistant to the varying degrees of sanitation and weird foodstuffs that you subject it to while on mission, but falls apart the moment you eat out on your arrival home
  • Physically you have ripped musculature from lugging around a tone of cargo per week, but cardiovascularly you struggle with a single flight of stairs as due to security restrictions you haunt been able to walk much further than the width of your base in months 
  • fireworks genuinely provoke your startle response. 
  • You consider intestinal parasites, leprosy and female genital mutilation to be normal topics of conversation at dinner. This may explain why you are still single.
  • Any clothes that expose your knees and/or shoulders make you feel as if you are showing positively scandalous amounts of flesh. Realising this fact makes you feel decidedly Victorian, but you can’t help it.
  • coming home and not having to sleep under a mosquito net leaves you feeling weirdly exposed.
  • You continue to greet/thank people on your return home in a variety of obscure tribal dialects. 
  • You know your passport number and issue date by heart. And how many blank pages you have left to fill…